Six Ways to Thwart a Backstabber at Work

Today’s team-oriented work environments encourage employees to be open, work collaboratively and share ideas and insights. But while these conditions can be positive for productivity, they can also make you vulnerable to the office backstabber. You know, that devious co-worker who acts all friendly and supportive to gain information – even your trust – then jabs a knife between your shoulder blades when you're not looking.

Marcy, a marketing manager at a Fortune 100 company, fell victim to a backstabber early in her career. Marcy routinely ate lunch with Michael, a co-worker, and the two used to bounce ideas off of one another. Then one day in a staff meeting, Marcy’s boss presented a concept for the new brand campaign that was identical to one Marcy had shared with Michael – and credited Michael with creating it!

After the meeting, Marcy went to her boss’ office to tell her the idea was actually hers. However, she left feeling as though her boss doubted her story and possibly even considered her petty for complaining.

Then there’s Jack, whose manager would praise him to his face, all the while telling his own boss that Jack was incompetent. His motive: to look like a hero for all he accomplished despite the “dead weight” employee he had inherited.

And let’s not forget Irene, whose boss used to support Irene’s ideas in private, but then rip them to shreds and slime all over Irene in public if something went wrong and the ideas didn't work out.

None of this surprises Dr. Gary Namie, author of "The Bully at Work: What You Can Do to Stop the Hurt and Reclaim Your Dignity on the Job." Namie says backstabbing generally stems from jealousy, ambition and/or greed and that it is especially prevalent in environments that combine scarce resources, weak people and little or no accountability.

Namie also points out that supervisors backstab even more frequently than colleagues: “They kiss up the ladder and attack down below.”

What can you do to avoid turning your back into a knife rack?

1. Think Before You Speak. Be careful not to say anything to anyone in the office that you wouldn't want repeated. Instead, find a mentor outside the company to reduce the likelihood that your secrets will be used against you.

2. Know How to Spot a Backstabber. Is there a mismatch between a colleague’s words and actions? Do you continue to “misread” a co-worker’s intentions? Does a colleague’s smile or praise seem false or a bit forced? Finally, does the individual have a history of backstabbing? People who have backstabbed before are likely to do so again, so learn from their past victims’ experience.

3. Ally Yourself With Others; Distance Yourself From the Backstabber. Stay as far away as you can from backstabbers while still maintaining your professionalism. But do form alliances with trustworthy colleagues for support, protection and to stay tuned into the grapevine.

4. Get Clarification. If the backstabber is your boss, Namie suggests you ask for and record in writing the specific procedures your boss wants you to follow, the result he or she is after and the performance standards by which you will be evaluated. Supervisors can get away with backstabbing when there is ambiguity. Clarity usually puts an end to the confusion – and the backstabbing.

5. Handle Confrontations Publicly. Namie advises politely calling the backstabber on his actions in public. For example: “Your being critical of this idea surprises me, as you gave me your full support and endorsed it when we met in my office last week.”

Namie says that backstabbers are obsessed with appearances and want to appear cool and collected. As long as you remain emotionally in control when you confront them in public, you will embarrass them enough that they will leave you alone.

6. Take the High Road. Don't get into a mudslinging match. It will only make you look worse. Acting with integrity and dignity usually pays off in the shortrun and always pays off in the longrun.


Source : MSN